Drea Knufken
If you’re a cheeky male Irish clone who sleeps less than 7 hours a night, habitually sells expensive lobby cards, has a housewife-melting smile, and knows National Lampoon movies like the back of your hand, you could get rich off this week’s jobs.
1. Delhi: Need a clone for Shaadi.com
I need someone to clone me shaadi.com. This is a freelance job. Please send me your rate, portfolio and which technology(php, .net etc) you plan to achieve the goal.
Compensation: 500. This is a contract job.
Shaadi.com is India’s match.com for arranged marriages. Maybe “cloning” is a technical term, but—huh? Can someone enlighten me on why you would need a clone for an arranged marriage site?
2. Connecticut: Marketing Communications Specialist
Our company is the leader in the business of providing an economic means of advertising services over the Internet. We are opening offices throughout the United States, our concentration now in Connecticut. Customer service skills preferred, but no experience is necessary. We have Full Time and Part Time positions available. Resume and phone number are required!
I’ve always wondered what a Marketing Communications Specialist does. This job post proves that a Marketing Communications Specialist position is just as vague as it sounds.
4. East Coast: Enjoy Sleeping Less than 7 Hours a Night? 28-Day Sleep Research Study
Brigham and Women’s Hospital Seeks Participants for a sleep research study who:
• Routinely Sleep Less than 7 Hours a Night
• Willing To Spend 28 Days and Nights Living In Our Facility
• No Medications or Sleep Disorders
• Ages 18-35
Receive up to $5,090
I know people who sleep less than 7 hours a night, but I’ve never met someone who enjoys it.
4. Dublin: Irish pubs in america need you! (East coast America)
We are an Irish owned pub chain. We have 5 locations at the moment with 4 more opening in the next couple of months. We are looking for experienced bartenders and servers for our new and old locations. We will help you get your visa and get you over here and started asap! I came over with this company as a bartender and I am now Bar Manager and chief recruiter so I can help you with any questions you may have.
This pub sure is looking for an authentic Irish setting, right down to the bartenders.
5. Edinburgh: Cheeky Maids and Butlers
Cheeky students and part timers wanted to be kinky maids and butlers. Great earnings potential, hours to suit and incredible fun! For more information please check out http://www.midlandmaids.com . No nudity or up-front fees required!
By cheeky, do they mean imprudent? Or are they referring to something more physical?
6. Paris: Vast Archive of International Movie Memorabilia seeks European Home
We will pay you $50,000 if you can find a Buyer for this World Class Collection:
World’s Largest Cataloged Archive:
Original Jumbo Lobby Cards, 1930’s-1980’s
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***Appx 150,000 oversized title/lobby cards (13″ x 17″)
***10,000-15,000 separate titles, 1930’s-1980’s
***Complete sets of 8 for most titles
***US, EUR, MX, Foreign Film Titles
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From a Regional Film Archive in Mexico, that had serviced twenty theatres over a fifty year span. Classic and Cult Titles from US, GER, FR, ITAL, MX… Japan, Russia, Hong Kong…..
Email for Details
That’s one way to make 50K. Wonder how long it would take to sell?
7. LA: HUGE EARNINGS FOR WALKING AND TALKING!!
Everybody Eats!! Well established, 28 year old food company offers very generous pay plan for one or two energetic, quick-thinking individuals with great personality, hustle and a good work ethic.
Help expand routes by canvassing in upscale neighborhoods and pitching our service. You’re not trying to convince the prospect to sign a contract, buy a freezer or purchase enough food to feed an army. A quick one minute pitch at the door, and if you can get the homeowner to simply view our products, you’ve done what you’re being paid for.
If talking to strangers comes naturally to you, (mostly housewives, so being charming doesn’t hurt) and if you have a good sense of humor, you should easily make $800-$1200 in your first or second week. Upwards of $1500-$2000 per week within a few months. More if you’re as good as you think you are.
Great job for aspiring actors who might need to have flexibility in their work schedules if they get an occasional gig or to go on auditions. Part time/full time.
Young males wearing tight shirts or fake uniforms especially desirable for housewives. Your abs and charm will be the keys to your success.
8. Hollywood: National Lampoon – Business Affairs Intern
National Lampoon, Inc., a U.S. comedy institution for over 35 years, with a current slate of feature films, home video and online entertainment, is seeking energetic and capable interns for our Business Affairs department at our Hollywood HQ. Candidates should have strong interest in entertainment law and contract negotiation and the ability to keep paperwork and files organized and easily accessible. Flexibility is a key attribute, as work assignments and work spaces can vary from day to day.
Sample contract negotiation:
Intern: Let’s discuss this more over lunch. Can I take you to lunch?
Client: Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Intern: You’re in Boston. We may have to fly you over for lunch.
Client: I’m not flying. Getting there is half the fun. You know that.
